Booooooored

I am REALLY bored right now.

This week I'm working only like 2 hours and a half tonight, the rest I'm just training, but with nothing to do in between, I have to say its freaking annoying. I have to get up at 6 am to go train from 7 to 8 :30, get back home at 9 and now I'm waiting until 3 pm for the next training. So basically I have more than 5 hours to kill, alone at my place. And the worst thing is, no one is even up right now unless they are working. Grrr

So yeah I'm freaking bored, and I have nothing to talk about, since i have no life right now :P

At least I'm training again, which is good, I'm getting my muscles back and getting my speed back. I have a competition on saturday so I have to get ready for that. Wish me luck :)

I do hope i don't make a fool out of myself at that race, it'll be the first race of the summer so probably the one I am going to suck at the most. At least I'm not sick, that would be so bad :P

Anyways, I'm gonna go, cuz I'm running out of things to say now.

seeya!

Btw my mood is good these days, its just right now that i have nothing to do :P

Haven't been on in a while :P

Yeah sorry, I've been a Baaaaaad blogger, I just have been really busy with work and paddling and trying to see friends in all of that. Plus there is litterally nothing new going on to blog about, work's been really good and I love it right now. I'm getting my muscles back but I still have to get rid of my little belly I got this winter :P

Anyways, I just made a post to tell you guys that my posting really won't be often this summer. Usually in the summer, nothing much happens, its the routine and there are lots of things that I dont want to say because I want to keep the privacy of people from my canoe club.

So yeah... sorry guys, I wont be around much this summer, I'll be normal back probably in september tho so I'll see you guys then...

Seeya!

Alone and lonely

Have you ever felt unloved? Of course you have, everybody has, I think...

Well thats how I feel right now and I keep telling myself that its going to go away, that its only temporary and that everyone feels crappy sometimes but its not helping. I feel alone and sad and I lost my optimism that I usually always have. I lost my smile that makes people love me, I lost that personality that cheers up people when I'm around them.

Those 3 things are what I love about myself. Not having them right now makes me want to stay here in my room for as long as I can. I don't want to leave and see other people because how can they like me when everything thats good about me is gone?

Its all stupid, and I know it is but I just can't get rid of this feeling. I know that right now theres probably only 2 people who can really make me feel better, Julien and Sam. Julien is on MSN right now but I don't want to talk to him anymore, I just want to prove to myself that I don't need him and I only talk to him when he talks to me first. Sam isn't on MSN but luckily he texted me a couple of minutes ago, I replied and asked him if he could go on MSN and he hasn't answered. I hope he does... Untill than I'll just listen to sad music.

*This just in, Sam just got on MSN and I'm talking to him right now :)

Friends over

Hello!

Me and my friends (Eli, Sam, Nick and others) went to see a movie yesterday and than Nick and a girl went to my place after and they slept here, they recently left.

It was really cool tho, the movie was kinda bad, plus we saw it in french so its even worse when its not in its original language. But it was fun being with them.

I actually slept on the floor because they were taking too much place in my bed :P it was okay tho, I dont really mind, i'm just a little sore, plus I trained yesterday so that doesnt help.

Anyways, I gotta go, I know I wanted to say something but I completely forgot so... meh

Seeya!

friends + Glee

Hello!

Yesterday some firends came over to my house, we hung out and had LOTS of fun. They talked to me about some guy they met in a Dunkin Donuts. They were sitting there eating munchkins and some creepy disgusting guy started talking to them. He didn't really make any sense and spoke in english than french, than other laguages. Some of them were scared (Sam :P) but another guy was like talking to him and making conversation. The fact that he spoke alot of languages made me jokethat he was probably a linguist and since my sister is in litterature I made the joke of "thats what they all become anyways". I don't really think my sister is going to become a crazy person who speaks to strangers in Dunkin donuts :P

Anyways Sam's girlfriend went to a wedding the other day so we ended up talking about weddings. We made plans about it lol, I got myself the best man position at Sam's wedding :P. My other friend decided I would be a bridesmate at hers with Nick tho lol. Anyways it was pretty funny, I told her I would only do it if I had an ugly dress.

We than moved on to talking a little more seriously about who we thought would be the first in our gang to have kids. We were talking about differet possibilities that were possible. Than I made the joke of a certain friend (that wouldnt really be fit to ba a parent) and they were like yeah could happen, it would be an accident tho. Which is kinda true that its possible. She always forgets to take the pill and she does sleep around alot. It would be very sad tho, I hope it doesnt happen...

Well I don't really have anything else to say exept I'm a huge gleek :P, yeah I downloaded alot of their music... and they have a good message they send, I love it! for example in one episode they are trying to beat their competitions at their own game by doing hairography and in the end they do what they do best which is to showcase their voices and sing a touching song about being who you are. I think its important to be who you actually are and thats one big reason why I came out. Here is the song i'm talking about.

Him again

Hey, I talked to Julien on MSN today and he actually made me cry (and no it's not because he was mean, he wasn't :P) He actually was very sweet and sensitive. We were talking and he made a joke about killing himself, to which I replied that it wasn't funny. We talked a little more seriously after, sharing suicide stories of people we knew (yeah I know sad) and than I asked him if he ever thought seriously about it. He replied "I do think about it sometimes" which means he still does sometimes. I'm therefore trying to help him and stuff and I told him lots of things but idk, I just wanted to go see him and hug him as hard as I could. I don't want to think about him doing that... It's so depressing, my god, I have tears in my eyes as I right this...

I want to see him... Like right now, but I can't. I just hope to see him again soon, to talk to him about this, I want to make sure he never even thinks about it again. I want to cheer him up, I want to... idk

I hope it all works out for the best. I don't want him to do such a thing. I don't want to lose him.

Matt

Matt came over yesterday and he slept here. It was pretty cool, we hadn't seen eachother in awhile. I missed him alot. We hung out and did alot of crazy, useless and stupid things like messing around on facebook and MSN.

We talked alot about random stuff but I'll only tell you the juicy details :P. I was telling him that one of my friends told me that I had to do it with a girl atleast one time and that I was like "well it's weird" and he agreed with the guy. His point was "why not? you have to try" to which I said "well would you try with a guy?" He said he would. I was like ehm... surprised :P

Of course we didn't do it, we are close friends and it would be weird after, AND he's got a girlfriend so I wouldn't touch him. But yeah, I found out that Matt would do it with a guy eventually (not when he's still going out with his girlfriend tho so he might never actually do it if they stay together)

Anyways, I don't have much else to talk about so that will be all.

Seeya!