Hey, I talked to Julien on MSN today and he actually made me cry (and no it's not because he was mean, he wasn't :P) He actually was very sweet and sensitive. We were talking and he made a joke about killing himself, to which I replied that it wasn't funny. We talked a little more seriously after, sharing suicide stories of people we knew (yeah I know sad) and than I asked him if he ever thought seriously about it. He replied "I do think about it sometimes" which means he still does sometimes. I'm therefore trying to help him and stuff and I told him lots of things but idk, I just wanted to go see him and hug him as hard as I could. I don't want to think about him doing that... It's so depressing, my god, I have tears in my eyes as I right this...
I want to see him... Like right now, but I can't. I just hope to see him again soon, to talk to him about this, I want to make sure he never even thinks about it again. I want to cheer him up, I want to... idk
I hope it all works out for the best. I don't want him to do such a thing. I don't want to lose him.
Oh God... I'll tell you, Luc, when I was 20, I had a very similar experience, and, it really hit me hard!! I spent an entire evening, trying to talk down this distraught person- the grandmother of a boy that I loved, while a .22 revolver sat in her lap... She had raised this guy since his mother abandoned him (at age 10) and now felt useless, as he was grown up and leaving her behind... I was successful, but, I'll tell you, her arguments were very difficult to overcome- they actually had a lot of truth behind them... But, here I was, telling her to go on with her life, and not destroy her grandson's memory of her... My stomach was in knots for weeks...
RépondreSupprimerI guess I'm telling you this, because, you are very young to have this kind of situation to deal with... I know exactly how you feel...I find myself getting upset again, just writing about this... You are, obviously, a very compassionate young man... Just be careful how you approach this... I feel funny about mentioning this, but I will, anyways... Don't hate me, please!! Is there ANY chance, that Julien is playing on your feelings for him, for leverage?? I don't know him.... Only you do... I only mentioned that, because, it occurred to me, as I was writing this, that another time, a guy that I know, did that to me... He was basically busted tho, when he tried, a little too hard, to push me for sex, as I tried to 'help' him feel better about himself... It turned out, to be pattern- I ran into a mutual friend that confirmed my suspicions...
Well, anyways, be careful, if he is really depressed and serious... Your hugs, I'm sure, would be welcome, but, he MAY need medical or professional intervention, that you simply can't provide. Good luck, Luc!! Keep us posted... luv, tman<3
He is definately not doing this to push me for sex lol, that would be ridiculous because sex is not the answer to suicidal problems, plus he didn't mention sex at all during that convo. It was really about other things, personnal stuff. I haven't seen him yet tho but he seems happier than during the session. I'll try and see him as soon as he wants to see me :P
RépondreSupprimerWell, Luc, I'm glad to hear that Julien is OK... You're a good friend, to worry about him, and stick your neck out to help him...People sometimes forget, that we are all in this together, and run for cover when someone is sad... You obviously love Julien, and want to help... 'Good on you!' as an Aussie friend once said to me!! lol luv, tman<3
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