My coming out part 3 : Telling the first few people

So on the evening of december 27th 2008, I was going to Sab's house for a christmas party. The drive there was killing me, the whole trip I was changing my mind. I wanted to tell her that I thought I was bi but I didn't know how she was going to react and I was scared.

When I got there, I didn't have the guts to tell her at first and than we got to her friend's house (which is where the party was) andso we were alot and I just couldn't tell her in private anymore. We were 2 guys and 4 girls there and that night, because of dares and stuff like that, I actually kissed the four girls (Sab being the first) and it was the first time I kissed a girl (yeah ridiculous, at like 17...) anyways, we had fun :P. At one point we tried to go to sleep, which didn't really work out, the other guy was like playing around with 2 girls, Sab was sleeping and I was talking to the other girl. I told her that I had something to tell Sab but that it was too late because she was sleeping already. She told me to wait until morning, to which I agreed.

Fortunately, I didn't have to wait until morning because Sab woke up. She wanted water and there wasn't any left (we were in the basement) so she went up the stairs to get some. I followed her up and told her in the bathroom (yeah really weird but hey...). We talked about it a while but it wasn't much (since I wasn't sure of my sexuality) and than I got back downstairs and we didn't talk about it after (because there were other people). It was a good thing for me, I had told one person and she didn't freak out on me!

In January I didn't tell anyone else, I felt isolated because Sab was far away and I was stuck at my parent's place, away from most of my friends. I met a guy from ontario on the internet who was gay and I talked to him alot on msn. He helped me alot and was really nice, but it wasn't like someone I knew...

So when school started, I wanted to tell someone else. I didn't until mid-febuary. The lucky friend : Matt! We were in one of our long breaks and we were talking. I remember him talking about his problems and I was trying to help him and at one point he was like my life is so hard. I told him no it's not, mine is and I showed him like a test result that I had got that said I was gay/bi and I told him : it's true.

He was into his own head for a couple of hours, coming to terms with it. We had a class not long after and he didn't say anything before it, but after it he told me he was okay with it and stuff. So I was really happy. He asked me if he could tell his girlfriend and I said yeah you can. So at the end of the day 3 of my friends now knew about me.

I didn't say anything to anyone else for a short while after that.