Lost

Yeah lost pretty much says everything about my life right now. I don't know how I feel about my friend who is gay yet and I saw him today and it was fun but like after that, my other friend told me that he came here to see me so I felt kind of bad because he gave himself alot of trouble to come and see me and I mean I like him but not that way... At least not yet, I feel like I don't know him that much. So I felt bad after he left and my friend was like how do you feel about him and i just didn't know what to say. I mean, I don't want to hurt him so I kind of have to tell him I'm not really that interested... But at the same time we could both be missing an opportunity for something great.

What doesn't help is the fact that I'm not sure how I feel about Sam. Sometimes I think I love him, sometimes I think he is just my best friend and that nothing could ever happen between us. Yeah I really need to talk seriously to him about it soon, but everytime I do he is so understanding and cute that I leave being even more confused, grrrrrr.

Ugh! I feel so bad, like I'm a really bad person. It's like I'm starting something with someone while I'm having feelings for someone else.

Well, let's just hope everything works out. I'm going to think about it alot over the next couple of days. God I hope I don't end up hurting him, he's so sweet and deserves to be happy...