Okay, I know it's not really coming out but it's still kinda important in the process (obviously) so I'm going to include it.
So at the age of about 12 all the kids start having a bigger interest in the other sex. Well I didn't, but I think it's just because I was a little slower then everyone else because I didn't have any interest in guys either. At 13 I got a "crush" on a girl. She was cute and nice and was my friend so in the line of things I thought I loved her... Of course now I realise how silly it is but I mean it's pretty much like this for straights so I wasn't very different again. The thing was, I couldn't picture her in any sexual way, she was just a friend to me but I just wouldn't listen to the obvious.
I forgot to mention that during those years (12-14) I was being picked on at school. The big drug dealer (yeah I was scared of him back then, now I realise what a loser he was and still is) was from my elementary school and therefore knew me and just decided I was the easiest target, others followed his lead. So at one point, I think I was late 13, they started saying I was gay, which I didn't even know what it was. Of course I asked my mom who explained it to me and I just thought that it wasn't true, I had never had a crush on a guy and because of that, I couldn't be gay.
So later on I started looking at internet pornography... Yeah at like 14... Anyways I liked it, it was new to me and everything. So one day I decided I would prove once and for all that I wasn't gay so I clicked on the gay link in the website I was on and I saw my first gay porn. Btw no, I wasn't all OH MY GOD, I HAVE FOUND WHAT I HAD BEEN LOOKING FOR ALL ALONG! No, the guys there were not my type and I didn't like it. After that I was happy I had seen gay porn and didn't like it that must mean I was straight. But after a couple of days, curiosity got me, and I went back but I went in another category which were younger guys, not my age but like 18-19 which were older then me but still attractive to me. Well this time, I liked it and I every time I would go see porn I would always end up in that category, even if I always started with straight porn in a desperate attempt to be normal.
So of course that's when I realised I wasn't straight. But for a long time, I told myself it was just a phase. But that is in another post.
Seeya later
Salut. J'ai aime votre histoire. Je comprends coment la deroutante est de savoir ce que vouse etes quand vous n'avez eu aucune experince. Maintenez le bon travail. Je pense que vous realisez un grand travail. Je ne sais pas a beacoup de candiens francais ainsi ce sera amusement a pouvoir te parler. Je serai au Quebec en fevrier pour un programme d'echange d'ecole.
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KAY
Wow, ça c'est vraiment cool, (je parle à la deuxième personne d'habitude, j'espère que ça dérange pas) mais tu vas où au Québec? Moi j'habite à Montréal.
RépondreSupprimerPS. J'utilise beaucoup de mots anglais quand je parle mais c'est parce que jsuis vraiment habitué, j'ai beaucoup d'amis qui parlent seulement anglais et mes parents sont bilingues (ma grand-mère parle peu français aussi donc...)
Je ne connais pas le quebec tres bien. nous allons a la ST Donat. Son drole parce que chaque persone francais que je connais est billingue.
RépondreSupprimermaintenex las grande ecriture
KAY
Ouais c'est à peu près à une heure et demi de route de où j'habite...C'est quand même loin...
RépondreSupprimerBtw il y a quand même beaucoup de monde ici qui ne parlent pas très bien anglais, mais il est vrai qu'il y a plusieurs bilingues. On a pas vraiment le choix puisqu'on est dans un pays anglophone.
My experience was a lot like that too. :)
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