Little french post

Yeah, I was angry at Sam so I wrote a little story that illustrates how he's an idiot. Maude thinks its hilarious and quite true. I'm going to post it here but it's in french and translating it would kinda hurt how funny it is (since I'm better with words in french than in english)

Ce gentil petit Sam se promène et trouve que le méchant Luc le colle tout le temps et le fait avoir l’air d’un homosexuel. Sam, en bon chrétien, sais que c’est mal pour un homme d’avoir des relations avec d’autres hommes. En plus de cela, gentil Sam y a penser et l’image le dégoûte encore. Il n’est pas interessé par ce genre de choses. Donc, notre normal, hétérosexuel Sam dit au méchant Luc : « Ne me touche plus! Je ne veux pas que les autre pensent que je suis un bizarre comme toi! » Apeuré par l’air autoritaire de notre héro, la méchante tapette se retire. C’est donc là que le gentil Sam est libre d’agir en vrai homme et de se maquiller, de mettre des jeans de filles serrés, de parler de pénis à journée longue, de parler de sortir dans des bars gais et de collé d’autres gais qui ne sont pas le méchant petit Luc.

Yeah I might translate it if you guys really want but you'll have to wait. Because I don't feel like doing this right now.

Seeya!

Well actually...

Yeah I have to clear things up.

Sam doesn't want to talk to me because he looks gay when he's with me. Thats the reason and it's a very stupid one and that's why I'm angry. I didn't make a move on him and he knows that I don't want to have sex with him. I don't need him for that, I have Julien and I didn't want to risk losing the friendship I had with him over something as stupid as sex.

I think I have been too focused on my sexual side while writing this blog and I'm sorry if you guys got the wrong idea but I'm actually kinda hard to get into bed and I only did it 3 times with Julien, that's it. I could have done it with Nick but I didn't.

I do make jokes about sex with Sam but I don't mean it. He was as close as anyone has ever been to me and that's why I kinda compared him to a BF, but without sex, and I never wanted to take it there.

Now he completely ignored me today and I didn't talk to him either but the ball is in his court. I am angry and now we are starting the war. He spoke to Julien and made him pissed at me, I got other people to think he's a total douche. The thing is, he told lies, i told the truth. Now Julien isn't angry at me anymore and most of our friends think Sam is acting like an idiot. Which is why pretty much everyone is coming over to my place during our huge break tomorrow, but Sam isn't invited and he's going to be all alone. Yeah, it's a bitchy move but he really deserves it.

Sorry if I wasn't clear before :P

seeya!

hmmm random weekend

Well saturday I saw my friends and we went to a sugar shack. It was pretty fun and I met a girl (who is a friend of a friend) and I'm probably going to be living with her in an appartment next year so that was interesting. She is really nice and i had a good time.

But of course, I have to talk about Sam as he is *again* at the center of things. I got to my place on saturday and found that Sam and another friend came to my house friday night and cleaned up. Sam did this of course because he felt bad. Sam wasn't supposed to be there at the sugar shack but of course he was. He sat next to me and we were having a really good time. At one point we were talking and the subject of "we have problems" was coming up. So I told him " we're going to talk about it early this week, this isn't really the place, but I'm still mad at you." The girl we met (my future rommate), heard this (she knows I'm gay). She looked at us and said "Oh vous avez une chicane de couple?" (your having a fight in your couple?) So yeah, Sam wasn't happy that she thought he was gay and going out with me. So he was moody for the rest of the evening.

After eating there was a little dance party and our gang is pretty crazy about those so we went and were pretty much the life of the party (exept for Sam who doesn't dance). At one point i went to see him and I like hugged him and he pushed me away. He said that he's tired of having a guy that always touches him in front of everyone (yeah he's pissed because it's in public, but in private its okay...) and I was like "okay, fine!" And right then and there, Julien goes to him and does like a lapdance kinda move and Sam smiles. Like he just tells me that he doesn't want guys touching him and Julien does this (which is way more than what I do) and he fucking smiles. I said "Oh yeah, but thats ok right?" and I just left. Okay btw Julien is a really good dancer, like its crazy, I was just staring and looking dumb. Eli told me to close my mouth lol.

So yeah I got pissed at Sam again because he overreacted. Speaking of overreacting, Julien is angry at me now (this is happening live, omg! :P). Yeah he said that I wanted to talk to him and see him too much, which is true, but he is ignoring me too much while we are in public also so... Also, Sam didn't want to talk to me about our fight so he talked to Julien who then talked to me, accusing me of being too much on Sam. We had a long conversation about it which ended in me winning my point and proving him wrong.

Arg my thoughts are really random but basically, Julien is right on some levels and wrong on others (especially in the level of his reaction). Sam is pretty much wrong on most things, I do have things I need to do adjust with him, but he mainly brought it upon himself (it's not only me who thinks that, pretty much everyone and I even convinced Julien who was really for Sam on that one). So now I'm just thinking about how I just expected too much out of my litle relation with Julien and how I thought Sam was better than what he really is.

And yeah, I'm back to square one. I have a best friend who distances himself from me and no more sex life. At least for now...

seeya

Our situation

Okay, I'll try to explain the whole Nick/Me/Julien/Sam relationship!

Basically, Sam, Julien and Nick went to high school together, like most of our friends. They are all in the year younger than me in school but now we are in collge so it's a little different than high school.

I went a year to college in another town and I changed school last fall. I was new to this school and I met Sam, Maude, Eli and other people from our gang at my new college. Then at parties I met Nick and Julien.

When I met them, neither of them had come out so I was the gay of our gang (yes I told them from the start). I got closer and closer to Sam untill we were best friends, we basically told eachother everything. Than in January, Maude told me that Nick was also gay and that he was interested in me. I didn't really know him but he is very attractive. That friday there was a party at my place and me and Nick kissed for a pretty long time. That is how Sam learned that Nick was gay, by seeing him kiss me.

Me and Nick never did anything again, I didn't feel this way for him and it was really weird and stuff so we just kissed on 1 night and that was it, we never had a relationship.

Word got out pretty fast that Nick was gay and soon, everyone knew.

Not much later, I heard about Julien, Nick told me that he was also gay. Even though Nick is very handsome, Julien is actually my type, not just physically but also personally, which wasn't the case with Nick. I told Sam not long after but he didn't say anything to other people. You see, unlike Nick, Julien wasn't ready for everyone to know yet.

Not long after, Julien was at a party and had nowhere to go. He finally had to stay at my place even though we didn't know eachother that well. We talked alot and we ended up sleeping naked and we did some stuff but not that much.

That's where my relationship with Sam started to have problems. Julien didn't want people to know and therefore, I couldn't tell Sam. He didn't know for awhile but about 2 weeks later, Julien went back to my place and we had sex. Thats when Sam found out I was hiding something from him because he asked me where I was going on sunday and I wouldn't tell him (I didn't want him showing up at my place so I told him I was going somewhere but I wouldn't tell him where).

Julien went to my place again that wednesday and we did it again. Than on thursday morning Maude came to my place (not that long after Julien had left) and she saw the empty pack of condoms that I hadn't seen (and therefore didn't throw out). So now Maude knew that we were doing things and I explained the situation to her.

Than the whole drama with Sam occured and on that night, he asked me what was my secret, and after a while of him pleading to know, I told him that I had a fuck friend.

That's where it gets really complicated because there are 2 possibilities (and I am angry at him for either one of those)

situation 1 : He guessed it was probably Julien

So Sam knows Julien is also gay and he knows I don't like Nick that way, therefore I think he guessed that I was sleeping with Julien.

After he talked to me on sunday, he went back home. But later that evening, he went to Julien's place to talk to him about his break-up (remember Sam's girlfriend broke up with him that saturday). Sam talked to Julien about a lot of things and at one point he told him that I had a fuck friend. I know he said "well you know Luc's type, its someone that is thin and weak" which is not only mean but actually aimed at Julien who isn't very masculine. Julien than admitted to him that it was with him.

That is a mean thing to do, go to someone's place to find out my secret and insulting them in the process, if I didn't want him to know, he had no right to go behind my back and find out by himself.

situation 2 : He didn't know it was Julien

It's the same exact situation exept that he didn't know who it was. That means he was talking with one of our friends about my sex life. Something I told him in private and that I didn't want everyone to know about.

Conclusion : weather he knew it was him or not he still did something that I find crosses the limit. He acted mean towards both me and Julien and he got away with it.

Okay now that I've gone off topic I will finish the description of the relationship between the 4 of us.

- Nick likes me but I don't like Nick that way.

- Julien had something for Nick but Nick didn't want to lose a friend, if they would have done something it would only have been physically, but they didn't

- Me and Julien are fuck friends. We are not supposed to know eachother well and Nick doesn't know about our relationship.

- Me, Nick and Julien have all had a huge crush on Sam at one point and we all think he is one of the cutest guys in the gang.

- Sam used to be very close to Julien but they grew distant.

- Sam is (officially) my best friend and we have a relationship that many of our friends say is like a couples relationship.

- Sam says he would kiss Nick and Julien when he wants to make fun of me (as an I know you think I'm cute but I won't do anything with you even if I do something with another guy)

- Sam, Nick and Julien have known eachother for a long time.

- I don't know if I want to go out with Julien but I might, at the same time I fear that I also like Sam that way and it scares me. That situation is going away though because I like Sam much less than before right now.

Basically we are 3 gay guys and 1 straight, there are things happening between Julien and me and at least one person wants things to happen between the others (example Julien would want to do something with Sam).

I hope this is clear even though it's probably not, if you have questions post them in the comments, I'll try and answer them

seeya!!

PS. Julien is coming to my place wednesday april 7th so I look forward to that! :)

Pissed off

Yeah the reason I haven't been posting this week is that this week was pretty muh all about Sam and trying to make him feel better. He thanked by telling me yesterday that he associated me to the fact that his girlfriend broke up with him. He also ompared me to Eli, basically saying that he associated her (who was his best friend at the time) with his girlfriend cheating on him and thats why she isn't his best friend anymore.

Basically what that means is "even though you did everything to support me, I can't be around you anymore and I will probably insult you behind your back in a few months"

I was shoked of course and Maude was between us and feeling really bad. She told me I looked like someone who just had his heart broken. I atually cried and Sam didn't do anything. He stayed there for half an hour and then went to his class. I went back to my parents house and I wasn't sad anymore, I was angry. He apologised at like midnight on msn but I didn't accept it. I told him all day, I wanted to yell at him and he said do it. I replied " I don't feel well ennough to yell at you." It's kinda true but mainly because I want him to feel bad, and he should.

So right now, I don't give a shit about how he is feeling beause that was totally uncalled for. He doesn't deserve to have us try to help him if he's going to treat his friends like this.

Man I'm still angry!

Real time update on Sam

I am getting worried, my internet kinda failed and my messages I sent to Sam on msn didn't get through, now he's gone and I can't talk to him. I texted him and he didn't answer.

Oh yeah btw I finally decided to name the guy I did stuff with because it was getting too weird so his name is Julien.

So, yesterday at night when I was talking to Sam trying to be there for him on msn, he asked me what it was I was hiding from him, after alot of "I can't tell you" and "you'll judge me" I finally told him that I had a fuck friend. He wanted to know who it was but I didn't tell him. The thing is I think he guessed it was Julien. Now he is going over to Julien's house and I don't know what he's going to say to him and I'm a little worried. There are other reasons why he's going to see him. He is going mainly because Julien is one of Sam's girlfriend's best friends and Sam is trying to get her back and Julien said he would help. That's why he's going there but he might just say something about me and Julien.

I told Julien on msn what I had told Sam but it looks like he might tell him anyways. So that would be good, like Sam would know and it wouldn't be my fault, but I would still feel bad if he found out by him.

Awww I hope it all goes well. That Julien will be able to help Sam and that everything will be fine. Man our group of friends love lives are extremely complicated. I'll do another post on the Nick/Julien/Sam/me relationships later so you guys can understand.

Well...seeya

Poor Sam

Yeah so I guess you guys realised I'm not pissed of at Sam anymore.

I got a text from him at 3 am saying "Where are you, I need to talk to you". I was at my parents house (which is far away) so I went on msn and he told me what happened. His girlfriend had just dumped him... on msn. He was kinda out of reality and just wasn't really there and so I stayed on msn until 5:15 am where he told me to go to sleep. I went back to my place this morning to see him. When I got there he was there with Nick and they left about 3 hours later. Now I'm alone here am I'm sad for him. When he left, I told him I loved him and for the first time he actually said "me 2" usually when he wants to say that to me he doesn't say it directly like that.

I miss him now, I just wish I was with him or atleast that we could have had some time alone together, but Nick was there the whole time. Anyways, I just hope he's fine right now, he's alone at his parent's house. When he's down he often just tries to be alone, which he is doing right now. I'll try to go see him later but i don't know if he wants to see me.

You know you really love a friend when you forget your angry at them when they need you. I know I really love him then. And he knows I really love him because he asked for my help as soon as it happened, even though he knew I was pissed at him.

He is now going to DQ with one of our friends, he didn't ask me if I wanted to come so I guess he's better without me right now, I don't want to pressure him into seeing me too much. As long as he's with someone else that makes me know he's okay so I'm happy.

well, seeya...

Sam

I got pissed off at Sam yesterday.

Basically he's been annoying me all week and I just had it with him. It's like he only wants to talk to me when he's sad. Like, I am there for him when he's sad but when he's happy, he just couldn't care less about me. All week he's been avoiding me. His favorite words right now are " I have things to do" and "So what?" and it's seriously annoying me.

I've been trying to see him all week but he always "has things to do". At the begining of the week he was telling me that his parents were out of town all weekend and he was happy because he could see his girlfriend. And I was happy for him, then on thursday he tells me that he was frustrated at her because she told him she couldn't come because she had things she had to do. I was like this sucks man, but hey we could hang out on sunday if you want, that way you wouldn't be alone and I miss hanging out with you. He answers "No, I have things to do." Yeah thanks man... Turns out what he "had to do" was just electronical stuff he likes to put together. So he just blew me off for something he can do anytime he wants.

Than on the same day alot of us went to my place, which he did 2. He basically ignored all of us to do things on his computer. I hated that break, Maude, her boyfriend and me fooling around and Sam just being there and not even noticing we were there.

Than the next morning (remember I didn't sleep that night) I text him saying "at what time do you get to school" (he arrives early in the morning) he answers "at 7 : 40 but I have things to do" which he said so much times this week it just pissed me off.

I saw him after my math class at 10 am friday and after talking normally with him a little, I don't remember what we were talking about but he started saying "so what?" to everything I said including "I'm going to punch you" (which I did) and it pissed me off and I said well then I'm just going to ignore you like you do to me. He said I wouldn't be able so I said bye to our friends who were with us and I left. I haven't talked to him since.

I know this sounds really childish but he seriously pissed me off. Oh yeah he also compared me with Eli (and coming from him it's an insult now because she told everyone things he wanted to keep private, and no, I did not do that).

Yeah I feel like I'm losing my best friend and I can't handle it right now. This sucks!

seeya...

Blood donations

Hey!

Yesterday my friends were talking about going somewhere to give blood, and they asked me if I wanted to come with them. I told them I didn't want to because I was pissed off at their stupid rule (which is true) but I also can't give blood anymore.

In Canada, there is a stupid rule that says a man can't give blood if he's had anal sex with another man. Now that I did, I can't give blood at all, for life.

This is such a stupid rule. Anal sex is pretty much as dangerous for getting STD's as vaginal penetration, buth that's ok... Also it doesn't even say "without a condom" so even if you protected yourself (which I did), you can't give blood. There is nothing about having unprotected sexual intercourses either. So basically they are saying that a man who had sex with another man is more likely to have aids than someone who had unprotected sex with a member of the opposite gender or a woman who had sex with another woman.

The fact that I said I didn't want to go because I was angry at this rule is still true, but now even if I wanted to, I wouldn't be able to.

I thought about this again because today my mom asked me and my sister if we gave blood. My sister can't because she doesn't weight ennough (which means they would take too much blood and it could be dangerous for her health). I can't because of this but I wasn't going to say that to my family so I just said I didn't want to.

Anyways, there are some stupid rules out there and this one is homophobic... big time! I just hate the fact that those rules still apply.

Random bit of my life

Okay this is really random but it's kinda funny.

This week, I have had trouble waking up, I don't know why but I just never woke up on time. I had classes monday at 8 am, I woke up at 7 : 50, tuesday at 10 am, I woke up at 9 : 51 and wednesday at 8 am, I woke up at 7 : 54. So basically I am lucky to be in residances because I was only late one time, but it did involve me just waking up and running to class. Yesterday I didn't have casses so I just didn't have to worry about getting up. But this morning I have a class at 8 am.

So what was my trick for not waking up late? Not going to bed at all! That's right, I just didn't sleep at all tonight. Not one minute, and I have a class in an hour and 15 min. I just didn't feel like sleeping, I don't know why and I decided I wouldn't sleep (not just because I didn't want to wake up late but I did think about it) anyways, it's really weird and it's my first time doing that. Thank god I only have a class from 8am to 10 am because I don't think I would have lasted a whole day. Well I have to go to class now.

Seeya!

PS. This is my first "before school post" I didn't think I would do that ever :P

Sorry for not posting for like a week

Yay! my internet works now!

Basically my internet wasn't working this week and when it worked, it didn't work for long, so I couldn't post, but right now it seems to be doing ok so I can talk to you guys again!!!

So! my fuck friend couldn't come over this week so it was a long and sexless week :P But Maude came over and we talked alot on tuesday and today theres two other friends coming over. We are going to watch "something something something dark side" which is pretty funny! I had lot's of friends over at my place today and it was fun!! We just did lots of stupid stuff and played a little video games. Sam was in a bad mood though but he got better after a while of being with us. He's a cutie. This morning he was very tired and that was just really funny, anyways...

I feel tired this week, I don't know why but it's really a bad week. I'm lucky I don't have any exams because I would have failed them for sure. You know sometimes you have bad weeks and you just don't know why.

I also feel like I'm losing Sam, we aren't as close as we used to be and it's killing me. He knows I'm hiding stuff from him and he hates it. Now he's just so much more distant and it feels like he's punishing me for some reason. Awww I just hope everything works out, but I just can't tell him, it would be bad for both him and my fuck friend.

Wow I'm sorry but I really hate that word, I just won't use it anymore. Also when I say it like that it feels like all we do is have sex which isn't true, we actually talk and stuff. He's a very sweet guy! He calls me a "good friend" so I might just call him that on here.

Anyways, I really can't wait for school to be over, it's just killing me right now. I can't wait for the end, which is kinda near... Come faster please! I want my vacation time! Okay I'm done now :P

seeya!

Lalalala

I am really bored right now, it's crazy! Anyways I didn't go out tonight because I didn't really feel like it so instead I am here and doing nothing.

It's funny because last night, I ate pizza but there was too much, and I knew I wouldn't eat the rest so I talked to Sam on msn and just told him to take it for lunch. So last night I put it in the fridge and just wrote Sam on a note and put it on. I do hope he ate it or I'm going to have to throw it out... I feed him now lol. Anyways, he's been strange this week because he knows I'm hiding something from him and I really can't tell him about my "advantures" so yeah... it sucks. I do hope we get back to being as close as we were before.

I have to go now, I'm going to watch modern family with my family. It's a really good show! My favorite character is Manny he is the funniest kid ever!

Anyways, seeya!!

Well he actually came over!

Yep he came over again last night. We were talking on msn and he was saying all these things about how he couldn't come over but that it sucked and I just said if you want, I'll come and get you. So I went to get him and he slept at my place, which was really nice! I missed him even though I had seen him like on tuesday :P

Anyways it was fun, we did stuff again so that's like what we do now, we are both guys, so we are equaly horny hehe, I love being gay :P. He left this morning and I went shopping with Maude, Nick and another of our friends. It was pretty cool and now I'm just home and too lazy to actually do my homework so I'm laying in my bed, talking on msn with Maude and Sam and just pretty much doing nothing.

Tomorrow I'm going back to my old school to see my friends from there and we are going out at a club, which is my first time with them, it's going to be pretty fun I hope.

Anyways, that's pretty much it so... seeya!

How it went!

Well I wanted to make this post sooner but my internet died on sunday and I just got it back today (yes those were long days :P)

So yes I went to get him on sunday and brought him to my place where we watched the Simpsons movie. We didn't get far and stopped watching it because we were kissing. At one point we were kissing and I started laughing because of a joke so we were like "yeah let's turn off the TV", which we did. Well this time we went further than last time and took a shower together after and everything. I'm really happy about it now and we do plan on seeing eachother more often for... that kind of stuff :P

BUT he doesn't want to go out with me, before it was because he didn't have anything for me. No he says it's because he isn't ready yet. So for now we are just friends with benefits. Sam doesn't know about this and it's really good. I will try to keep this from him, even though it's really hard to lie to him, because he doesn't like him and that certainly won't help. He also get's jealous when I say his name (he says he doesn't but he does).

I also saw him on tuesday, we went to see a movie. We were 5 friends and me and him both pretended there was nothing going on. We talked a little but not much, like we didn't really know eachother well (we are supposed to have seen eachother and talked to eachother much less than we actually did so...). It was weird though, being around him and almost not talking to him at all. We were also supposed to see eachother tomorrow (another group thing) but he decided not to come so I don't know when I'll see him again. I'm probably not getting any for a while now so I'm back to usual :P. Well that's all about it so I'll post something else later today or tomorrow about a different topic. (And I promise I'll name him soon)

Seeya!

3rd post today but I had to do this quickie

Yep, I now officially have a fuck friend... Or at least I think so :P

So the guy I did stuff with... man I'm going to need to name him soon... anyways, I'm talking to him on msn and he is coming over tomorrow at my place and it really sounds like he wants to do it (and obviously I do two). I would look like a total idiot if he's just joking though... hmmm we'll see. Anyways he's super cute so I'm happy and he's a really cool guy to be around so I'm happy to see him anyways.

Yeah that's it, I'll try and fill you in on what happened as soon as I can, probably going to be on monday or tuesday tho.

Seeya!!

Okay, some random things!

Well alot of things happened lately. So it's one big post about lot's of different subjects!!!

Suject 1 : Sam's sexual orientation

Turns out Sam might just actually be bisexual. That's what I thought before, than he convinced me he wasn't and now he is really doing stuff that I'm pretty sure no one who isn't at least a bit bi-curious wouldn't do.

Yeah I told you the thing he did when he might have been hard on me, well he was telling me it was his hip and yesterday I talked to him and he said it was his hip, than said it was his dick and he kept on changing it. He says that he is doing that to mess with my head (which works) but what I think is this : He is probably bi but doesn't want to accept it. He was actually hard on me and said it was his hip, but after he said that he felt bad for lying to me and than started this thing of telling me it was his dick and than saying he was lying and so on to actually tell me, without me being sure of it. I spoke with Maude and she thinks that Sam is mainly straight but also has something for me, which he has problems dealing with. This makes sense because he doesn't want to hug me and stuff when theres people around us, but when it's just me and him he dosn't mind. He was also jealous when he learned that I kinda slept with our friend.

Anyways, our relationship is so weird and it's just getting weirder. I love it though :P. Our friends (mainly Maude) say that its the biggest love/hate/sex relationship you'll ever see (the sex here isn't actual sex but insinuations of sex).

subject 2 : Sam's mom

Well I knew Sam was having problems with his mom and I didn't know all the reasons. Now he told me one more and this one concerns me.

His mom doesn't like me... and guess why? Because I'm gay! Oh yes, he told me this week. He said his dad has gay friends but his mom stopped thinking in the 70s. That's why she doesn't like when he comes over to my place. I wondered why he always had to come home early when he was over here, while when he was at other places he could stay longer. It's actually really sad if the first subject is actually true. I feel bad for Sam because I am one of the reasons he fighs with his mom alot and I used to tell him that he should maybe listen to her more and I tried to make him talk to her more but he actually fights with her for me which is kinda sweet.

Subject 3 : I saw him again

Well if you didn't guess who it was, its the guy I did stuff with. Yeah I saw him thursday after like 2 weeks of not seeing him and 1 week after he said he didn't like me that way. I didn'T really talk to him though, it was during a big thing with like 15 people. I did joke with him at one time when I wanted to pass and he wouldn't let me but thats it. He is still cute though and I'm sad I don't get to see him more often.

Yeah that's pretty much it, Oh yeah I had an exam in math wednesday and got my grade yesterday... I got 100%, I am really happy but that exam was REALLY easy... Hope they are all like that hehe

seeya!

My coming out part 5 : Coming out at my old school

Here's when my global coming out really starts. At the end of the semester, I was thinking more and more about telling people. It was really hard for me to keep a secret like this from my friends. As I was thinking about if I should or shouldn't say it, people started noticing. I decided to give hints, therefore I was listening to really girly songs and stuff like that and saying really typically gay comments just to see who would actually guess.

Well one night, I went to see one of my friends who played in a play. I went there with my other friend who was gay, and that I had just learned had a boyfriend. While we were waiting for the play to start, I told him I found out he was dating someone and I said that he could have told me and that I was happy for him. It was actually the first time we talked about him being gay. Than I asked him how long he knew and he said : "I realised it last year, what about you?"

So he definately knew and we than decided to go talk about it more somewhere after the play, which we did. It was the first time I was talking about it with someone who really was gay. He helped me alot and I was just happy to be really understood by him. The next day I told my friend who had introduced us (she was the best friend of the gay guy) and than I didn't say anything untill the last day of exams, just before our last exam,

I was with Matt and another friend who is kinda homophobic, and that guy was pissing me off a little so I just told him before the exam. That guy automatically thought that I had already experienced anal and stuff like that (and I hadn't, nor did I to this day) but even though he kinda expected it lately, it still made him feel uneasy.

That weekend, the 4 guys of our gang went over to Matt's place to watch the 6 Star Wars. I told the other 2 guys there, one of them was extremely surprised and jumped on the couch yelling "WHAT? WHAT?" and the other one was like " What? you didn't see it coming?" that situation was really the funniest moment of my coming out and yes we stil make fun of him for yelling like that! Anyways, they both took it well and it we had a great weekend.

After that, another one of the girls hosted an end of semester party. There I told all the ones who were there that I hadn't told already (3 people) and there it was, I was out to my friends of that school. But I changed town that summer and I didn't see them much after that. I then had to come out to my friends in the other town, and that was alot harder.

Laughing at Sam

It's a really fun thing to do! Okay, I'm a little mean laughing at my best friend, but it's so easy!

Yeha, pretty much everyone thinks he's gay. He hangs around with me and people will talk more about having the feeling that he's gay then having the feeling that I am. Alot of people have asked me if he was gay and when I say no they ask if he's bi. But what is really funny is his reaction when people think he is. He says he's not and then tries to act more straight, after that for like 4-10 days he tries to distance himself from me but he always comes back and just goes furthur in our relationship of "were not dating but it really looks like it".

For example, no one said that for awhile and he's done stuff with me the 3 times we were together. Friday he pulled down my pants and underpants (and he was really close to it). Monday we were talking and we ended up in an "your going to stop before me" thing where we we both about to show it and we were trying to go furthur than the other one... And he went as far as his really almost showing it (and showing his pubes). Today we were wrestling and he beat me and than proceeded on acting as if he was... well you know... doing it with me... But the thing is, I felt something hard. Sam said it was his hip, but our friend who was there (seeing and being traumatised :P) said that Sam wasn't on the side and really like straight on me (which would put his dick near my butt and not his hip).

So yeah, he does further everytime and people thought he was gay before, they stopped saying it, but now it's starting again. Saturday he met our friends' best friend (yeah thats kinda far) and the girl said to out friend that he was gay and didn't accept himself yet, which would be kinda sad. I mean I don't think he's really gay because I think he would have told me by now. He trusts me and I mean, you can't really be worried about how I'm going to react since I'm also gay...

Anyways I laugh at him sometimes but I'm more worried thant anything I guess

btw he's really cute... awww if only... :P

anyways I really got off subject in that post...

Seeya!