Who was I kidding

Funny how I thought I would post more, and then I stopped posting for the longest time :P Oh well, that's just me I guess.

Here's the boring, post where I tell you guys that I called it quits a while ago. I think in the end blogging was never meant for me. It's way too much of just me writing things down and hoping it helps people or touches them in a way. But after a while, not seeing how it helped or touched really made me lose my motivation.

While I hope I helped others, I want you guys to know that this blog, and everyone who read it and commented on it, helped me alot too. I might not be out of the closet to most of my extanded family yet, I did come out to one of my younger cousins who always looked up to me (and still does). But this blog helped me have alot more confidence in myself which is something I used to lack. It also turned me from an introvert to an extrovert, which is something that I enjoy so much. Don't get me wrong, I love introverts (and I have a tendency to fall for them) but for me, being an extrovert makes me alot happier.

Also, my life has changed in general, while I'm not in a relationship right now (and I was a few weeks ago, I'm sorry I didn't fill you guys in) but I'm meeting alot of new LGBT people so something might be coming up, who knows. I am also in university, studying psychology. It's something incredibly interesting and studying is a fun thing to do, so that makes it kinda easy.

Now, after all the boring parts of "where I am in my life right now" I am going to leave you with this amazing fun thing!

While I said blogging wasn't for me, I found something that is. Many of you probably know the website Milkboys, well a little less than a year ago, I joined it. It's where I met both of my exes and had many crushes over the last year. But where I really hang out is this chatroom, which used to be associated with Milkboys but is going further and further from it.

I've been going to that chatroom for the past year and I thought that if someone still read this blog and wanted to actually still talk to me a bit, well they could do so over there.

If you guys want to talk to me, I'm Eros on there and Eros91 on Milkboys. But honestly, most people who hang out there are really cool so feel free to talk to them!

EDIT : I still might come once in a while to tell you guys how I'm doing, but this is a maybe :P

5 am post

Okay it's 5 am and I can't sleep, forgive my bad writing and lack of coherent speech.

Well, there are 3 people that flirted with me today... That's alot. I don't know how to react when someone flirts with you but your not really interested you know. Anyways, it got me thinking, in 2011 theres already 15 people who seriously flirted with me... 15! That's 5 people a month! I think it's way too much. The worst thing is that either It wouldn't work out because we're too different people in my opinion or they live so far away that it's not even worth the bother or they don't want an actual relationship which is what I am looking for. Anyways, 15 people, I went out with only one of them and it wasn't successfull.

I don't know, I used to be the kid everyone wanted to be friends with but nothing more. I'm not good at suddently handling people having crushes on me. I don't want to hurt anybody while at the same time I don't want to lead them on. But how can I turn 15 people away when in the past I've been wishing so much for at least one person to like me that way.

I don't know what else I can say on the that so i'll just change subject :P


I'll just go on to say that I love people. In general i really do love people. Almost everytime I meet someone, I think they are pretty cool. Out of everyone I ever met, there are very few people that I disliked, in fact I'll just think back and remember exactly how many... 7. I have disliked 7 people that I actually got to know in my entire life. Out of all the people I remember from my life, and there are many, there are only 7 that I really dislike. Out of those 7, theres only one that I truly hate. And by hate I mean hate. I mean if I could either save his life or just run away without no one ever knowing I was there... I'd leave. I don't like feeling this way, but I do. I live my life by trying to be nice to people and I've always thought that if your nice to people, people will be nicer in general too and it'll be a much better world. However, no matter how hard I would try, I don't think I could ever be nice to him. This kid made my life a living hell when I was 12-15. He made me want to kill myself a couple times. He was a big bully. Just thinking about it even today makes me angry. I don't see how someone can be so degrating towards others. I still wonder sometimes what it got him to make me and others feel so bad about ourselves. Now I'm older and I know I'm a much better person than he is and than he'll ever be. But I just can't get over my anger against him. I despise him.

I'm sorry I just thought about him today and felt angry and I really had to vent.

seeya guys

Choices

Hey guys

I am getting out of my confusion thing. Basically i think what I'll have with both those guys is friendship, at least for now. Who knows what the future brings but I can't see myself dating someone who lives far away. I can't go through a long-distance relationship again, it was just too much for me.

However before I got to that conclusion, I still went to the other conclusion which is that the closer one (and older one) was the best choice for me. He was way more mature than the other one and I could and actually still can, see a future with him. Living in a house, with kids. A realistic future. As for the other boy, I could only see a future with him if we both became famous actors or something aka not very realistic.

Anyways, they are both amazing guys and I want to keep talking to them forever :P Who knows, maybe life will give us an opportunity to meet (I know I'll meet the closer one this summer for sure) So yeah :)

So yeah, I am going to try to enjoy being single and not having a busy schedual, instead of staying here worrying about stuff, I'll go out and have fun with my friends, maybe meet a few people, who knows! I just wanna have my fun I guess.

Well that's it, I'm going to see my friends from my old school, Matt and another one, next thursday probably so it should be fun :)

Seeya guys

meh

Hey guys!

So basically almost nothing has changed since my last post. I still talk to both of theboys I talked about earlier and I still like them both alot. All I will say about it is that I'm doing as Tman said and I'm keeping it at a friendship level with both of them, at least for now. I do believe that being confused about your feelings isn't a good way to start a relationship so it's the single life for now still.

On another note, I talked to Alex earlier this week and it sounds like it's going to work with the "being friends" thing. We won't be the best friends ever but we are deffinitely going to stay friends. I'm very happy about that and I think it takes a good deal of maturity from both of us. I'm glad to not lose him completely because like I said, he is a really great guy.

There is not much going on at the moment to be honest. My relationships with my friends have changed completely. I barely see Maude anymore and it's going to take a while before I trust Sam, all this while I haven't seen Matt in a while. So basically, I don't really consider myself having a best friend at the moment. I have alot of friends but I am not really that close to anyone and it really makes me feel lonely. I would write more about it but I'm not really in the mood. Idk I'm feeling down today...

2 new guys

Hey hey hey

I have alot of things to say.

Basically I'm going to continue a bit more on the subject of my last post.

I think Alex is ignoring me right now, for whatever reason, maybe he feels better not talking to me or he's tired of me orhe's just never actually there when I try to talk to him. Whatever it is, I'm tired of it so I'm not even going to try to talk to him to be friends anymore, balls in his court. if he talks to me I'll answer but I'm not making an effort anymore.

However About the other guys, they all know I'm confused and that i don't know how I feel about them nor am I truly over Alex. So since I've been honest with them, theres minimal risk of them getting hurt.

Theres mainly 2 guys involved here. Both of them I met online and both of them live pretty far from me, one alot further than the other.

So we'll start with the furthest one, if I want to see him, I would have to take a plane, like he's that far. But he lives in a city I have always wanted to go to and actually tried to go to twice. So since I'm already planning on going there, it's just a pls if I meet him right? Anyways, he's a really cool guy but I can't really get in a relationship with someone while I can go see him maybe once eventually. So yeah, I'm not looking for a relationship with him, at least not now, but I do like him alot, we have alot of fun talking to eachother, have alot in common and we've experienced life differently. My main concern about likeing him isn't even the distance, it's that he's 16. He's pretty young and I'm kinda scared of having feelings for someone who is 3 years younger than me. So basically probably not someone I will end up dating but I like him nonetheless and idk what'll happen.

Now let me introduce the closer one. He's a really sweet guy and is cute. He already told me he loved me. I've known him for a couple months. I've seen his heart get broken and vice versa. We've always liked eachother as friends but now we've been there for eachother when we were both down and we've grown closer. He still lives pretty far, further than Alex, which is one of the reasons we haven't really tried anything. We can talk about alot of things and while we may not have as much in common in things we like as I do with the first guy, our values are even more similar. I respect him alot and love him. I want the best for this guy. I don't think we'll go out either mostly because of the distance and also because theres one of our mutual friends who has feelings for him and would probs kill us both :P . I will probs meet him this summer tho which I am really looking forward to.

So basically, these guys are what I think about right now and the reason why I'm confused, I like them both but I wouldn't want to try anything because of the distance and because of the existance of the other. I would never want to start anything with someone while I have feelings for someone else.

I should really find someone close lol :P

seeya guys :)

Confusion confusion

Hello again!

Why now? That's the question I've been asking myself this week. I've been alone and feeling lonely for most of my life, all my teen years I didn't really have friends and I felt horrible about myself. Not only did I not have friends but no one would ever have wanted to go out with me or anything. Basically, I had only my family and my dogs that loved me... Yeah, it was bad.

Fast forward about five years and here I am today. As I write this, I've had about 5 guys who seriously asked me to go see them (they live far) and probably 3 out of those 5 have clear intentions of doing stuff with me, if it's not 4 out of these 5. One of them told me he loved me, that was less than a week after my break-up. Theres a guy that lives close who wants to meet me and maybe date me enventually. Theres another guy who asked me to have sex. I also have a "straight but questioning" friend who just told me he used to have a crush on me.

Basically I'm wandering why everyone suddently wants me now. I mean, why not 3 years ago or even 2 months ago? Why all now when I'm still not over Alex and deffo not ready for a relationship and I don't want sex because I'm too emotionally weak to handle anything... Why? Are people attracted to that? Attracted to someone when they can't even think straight about what they want...

I'm just really confused. So I decided to stay single for the time being and not do anything foolish. I don't want to hurt anyone in the process of doing something stupid.

I just hate the fact that everyone is going for me right now... It really sucks for them and for me, it's just not right!

Alex

Hey guys

I talked to Alex yesterday for the first time since last monday. At first it was really awkward. We just made small talk and basically had nothing to say. Eventually we just stopped talking. Later on tho we were both in the same chatroom (the one where we met) andnwe started talking again, even made a few jokes. Although at one point he stopped paying attention to the main chat (meaning he was probs having a convo with someone in private chat) and he was making the same faces as he was when he was flirting with me in january. I have to say that hurt a bit, but it made me realise that theres basically no chance for us. So after a little while, I decided to ignore this fact and just talk with other guys that are my friends. So I had my fun anyways but eventually I saw Alex looking pretty sad. So I talked to him on skype (so that not everyone in the chat would see) and he just said that he was a bit depressed and that every guy he thought was cute said he wasn't their type except me.

That brought alot of emotions. First of all I felt bad for him, alot of guys just turned him down, while alot (some the same ones) were flirting with me and saying I was cute. But than I thought to myself, "Hey, I didn't go to them, they actually started flirting with me without me having done anything while he goes out of his way to flirt." So than I felt a bit pissed, like he admitted he started talking to me cuz he thought I was cute. He said it developped into something more, but I'm starting to think it didn't really. That he only liked me for looks, which hurts. I mean, when we started talking, I hadn't even seen a pic of him and I started liking him for him. But what if it wasn't the other way around? What if he never really liked me? It would explain him moving on so fast, him not making real efforts for us to see eachother. It would deffo explain why it didn't work out.

So yeah, I don't really feel any pity for him. I mean if you're only going to talk to guys you think are cute instead of guys who are interesting and nice, you're never going to find the right person. I mean sure, you have to date someone you can be attracted to physically but I'm going to take the example of my relationship with one of my friends. I didn't think he was cute at all when I met him, I still talked to him because he was really nice and had interesting things to say. He started to grow on me and I think he's cute now. It's weird but it's a great thing. I'm not saying I'm in love with him but I know that when we talk, it isn't all based on looks and that's how I felt about Alex since I started talking to him and being interested in what he did before seeing what he looked like.

Gah, I'm getting lost in thoughts now. I guess my point is this. I'm worried Alex was too superficial and that maybe that'S the only reason he liked me. Maybe he didn't really like the person that I am. I do hope that is not the case and if it is well... Fuck him.

I hate feeling like this, I really do. This might be all in my head again but to be honest, I think it has at least a little bit of truth. I'm starting to wonder if I'm that interesting a person or people are just lying to me when they say that. Or maybe it's just him. Idk,

One thing is for sure tho, the way he acted means he's over me and he would only get back with me to stop feeling lonely and depressed so even if he asks, theres no way I'm coming back to him now. We are just done.

Old friends

Hey guys!

I know I was supposed to see Matt today but I didn't. I went to one of our other friends before and than we were supposed to do something with Matt. But I get there and my friend is on msn talking to another one of our friends. It turns out that same day, our friends were having a reunion for all their program at our old school (and me, Matt and our friend were in different programs but we hung out with theses guys all the time anyways). So yeah we asked them if we could come and they said yes. So me and my friend went there but Matt had to do stuff at his house before so he said he'd meet us there later.

I saw alot of people that I hadn't seen in a very long time and it was really fun, we caught up and talked alot, joked around, watched videos. There were people who left early for some made up excuse cuz they were pissed off about some thing, I didn't quite get what happened, I just saw them leaving and was just like wtf. It didn't have anything to do with me so I just let it go.

Matt didn't end up coming he said he wanted to go to bed early. I was dissapointed cuz I really wanted to see him but if he doesn't want to make an effort to see us, it's his loss. We had alot of fun even if he wasn't there.

When it was pretty late and we were only like 6 people left we talked about politics and philosophy and surprisingly ennough for I'm not the one who brought it up, sexual orientation. Basically theres this one guy who started talking about his opinions about life and gays and adoption and he was contradicting himself alot. I still don't quite get what he really thinks. But I found out that this guy was bi or pan, something like that but he still thought gay marriage wasn't normal and that gays should not adopt. I found it funny that the person who was most outspoken against this idea wasn't me but one of my friends who, as I saw tonight, has almost the same opinions as me on almost everything. It was quite weird, like I wanted to say something but I almost didn't say anything because he always said it for me. But yeah, we had a lengthy talk that was quite interesting and made me reconsider how I think about some things like couples and love. I'm going to have to do some pretty huge-ass thinking.

Saying that, I won't talk too much about the convo because, well it's 3 am and I have to sleep.

So seeya! Goodnight guys!

Life is back to normal

Hey guys!

My break-up hasn't been as bad as I thought. I didn't start crying like a little girl (I did cry but not much) and I was in a sad mood for a while (still am) But I'm getting back to my old self alot faster than I thought. My friends have been there for me and really helped me get better.

I am going to see Matt tomorrow. I miss him alot and I know he'll be nice to hang out with. So yeah, I have that to look forward to tomorrow.

On another note. I still haven't talked to Alex. We said we'd stay friends but I needed some time without contact and he respected that. I really do love that about him, it's like he always got me. Basically, I think it might have worked out if his parents weren't so much against it. So there might be a chance of us seeing eachother again as friends in the future, and who knows, maybe we'll get back together once he's out of there, but that's a long shot and I don't want to think about it. I have to admit I still love him and I haven't moved on. I will eventually move on but right now I just don't want to. I don't know anyone who's even close to how awesome he is.

I guess what I want to say is, I'm getting back to my old self again, which is great because I hate my depressed self :P I'm also planning on talking to Alex next week because I miss talking to him.

I think I'll stay single for awhile unless an opportunity really presents itself, I'm not going to look for it at all. Being single is fine with me, I've been single for over 19 years, I think I can take it :P

Thanks alot to you guys for caring!

Love ya!

Who Knew

If someone said three years from now

You'd be long gone

I'd stand up and punch them out

Cause they're all wrong and

That last kiss

I'll cherish

Until we meet again

And time makes

It harder

I wish I could remember

But I keep

Your memory

You visit me in my dreams

My darling

Who knew

Guess who's single again

I am :/

I don't really feel like talking about it much, it hurts but I kinda saw it coming, I still thought he would try to see me again but yeah instead he decided to end it. I know we couldn't see eachother much, but I would still have liked to see him at least another time. Now I just feel like we had something good that just turned bad because of how far we lived and his parents.

I really hate that it ended like this. But there's really nothing I can do. We are still on speaking terms and idk, we'll see if something happens in the future when he's free from his parents... I'm not counting on it just cuz I really don't want to be hurt if it doesn't happen.

So yeah, I don't feel like writing too much so I'll leave it at that.

P!NK

I finally found my favorite artist!

After years of just saying "I love lot's of things but no artist really more than others". Well that's over. I recently listened to alot of songs from P!NK and I have to say, she is amazing. Not only is her music up to date and we can dance on it but it also always has a message. P!NK has something to say more than just "I'm rich and I like to party". She has songs that range from a cute sad love song, "Who Knew" and a song about a family that's breaking apart, "Family portrait" to a song to the president or about stupid girls.

It's hard to pick my favorites because all her songs are so good. I'll show you a couple anyways :P

This first one is F**king Perfect. It's a song about suicide, and has a very good moral.

I like the fact that it says that if that girl had actually killed herself, she would have missed out on the best part of her life and how she contributed to societe eventually in her life. so even when you think you're useless and that you're life is terrible, it's not true and we all have a future.

This second song is "Who knew" it talks about a girl's heart break after her relationship didn't work out and she thought it would last forever.

The third one is "Family portrait". It's a song about a little girl who doesn't want her parents to divorce and thinks its her fault. I love the video of this one.

I love how the little girl is the young P!NK but just is always there with her. i don't know how to explain it but it's really well made.

Finally this last one is "Funhouse" it has less of a message but it's a nice song and i love her countdown :P But at the same time it's about someone moving on once their life gets bad, you know moving to something else. Well that's the way i see it anyways :P

So yeah that's my P!NK post. She's an awesome artist and a good person. I think we need more artists like her. She's out of the ordinary but in a really good way.

Lots of little things

Hey guys!

First of all, I didn't go see my boyfriend in the end, he couldn't have me last minute because all his family was sick this week and they had stuff to do the weekend that they couldn't do during the week

So instead I went to a gay club with my friends and it was pretty cool. I danced like the whore I am... Okay maybe not :P, mostly with girls anyways hehe. But there were alot of things that happened! First of all Julien ended up french kissing some guy he had just met there (that I had met before) and that guy is, I swear, incredibly similar to me, we love the same things have the same kind of friends, have the same opinions, etc. So I thought it was pretty funny, I just hope Julien doesn't end up hurting him...

Also, there was a guy who was being too racy. He was dancing and took off his shirt and his pants and was putting his hands in his underwear. He was being really annoying too. So the security guy asks him to leave and the guy decided it was a good idea to resist. So they ended up fighting a bit and finally the guy got thrown out. No actual punches were thrown tho :P

And finally, the other thing that happened, when we were leaving we go outside and I see a guy that I went to elementary school with who also just came out of the club. So I asked him if it was him and I was right. So we talked a bit, we hadn't seen eachother in like 8 years :P After that, we went home.

That's pretty much it, yesterday also marked the one month of my boyfriend and me being together but we didn't do anything special :P We'll be on skype for valentine's day tho :) Which reminds me, Tman, I had something planned to give him when we saw eachother as an early Valentine's day gift. But I'll give it to him as a late one instead :P Thanks for thinking about it tho.

That's all, seeya guys!

Kind of a job :P

Hey guys!

I got a kind of job, which is going door to door trying to sell things. It's not the best thing in the world but hey, it's something...

So right now i have my days off and I work during the evening whenever I'm available. I worked monday and tuesday, I'm not working today however because I can't and on thursday I'll actually be forming another guy (yeah I know, I just started :P)

I hope I do fine, I wouldn't want to look like an idiot but hey, I just started monday, they can't be mad at me for messing up :P

Anyways, in other news, I might be going to see my boyfriend this weekend, it all depends on what his parents say. If they don't want to, I think we'll still try to work something out because I miss him like crazy right now and we haven't seen eachother for a month...

So that's pretty much it, I really hope to see him this weekend but if it doesn't work out, we'll work something out eventually. Thank you guys for being there for me, it means alot and I'll talk to you soon to give you news about if I'm going there or not.

Seeya!

Lazyness

Hey guys!

I don't know why but I'm having trouble finding motivation these days. I made my C.V. and everything but I'm not really going through everything thats necessary to find a job. Like I gave it to some places but I know I should have done more already and it's ridiculous how lazy I am being. Well, at least I still have money left in the bank so I'm not too tight financially. I still want to find something before it becomes a problem tho.

That's pretty much it, there isn't much going on in my life, I'm talking to my boyfriend as often as we can and I see my friends alot. It's basic stuff really but I'm happy.

seeya guys!

boyfriend and my weekend

Hey guys!

I read your comments on my last post and let me say, first of all, thanks alot for caring, it means alot to me :) Now, some of you talked about his age. Well he is 18, therefore an adult, but since he is still living with his parents and is still dependent of them financially, he still has to do what they want. Of course, it sucks and is unfair but he doesn't have a choice. However I agree with the fact that they are probably going to soften their rules the more serious our relationship gets and i really hope that they do.

I also saw that I didn't mention that he lives in the United States, which is something to consider seeing the mentality is different there.

Anyways, it isn't worth it to dwell on it, we have to live our lives, I might go see him on the 12th, 13th and sleep at a motel. It's going to cost alot but it's worth it to see him, plus it's close to valentine's day :)

On another subject, I spent the weekend at matt's house and we watched the NHL all-star game and skill competition. It was great and was really funny so we spent a great weekend. Matt , another friend and me all slept in Matt's bed (don't worry guys, we didn't do anything) and his dad went to wake us up in the morning and was like wtf... but he was laughing and didn't react badly.

Well that's about it, I have nothing much to do these days so there isn't much to talk about :P

seeya!

Bad news

Hey guys

First of all let me say that my computer was being fixed so that's why I haven't posted in a while. I'm sorry

But alot has happened since the last time I posted. I'm not going to talk about everything because that would just be silly. Let me just say a couple things that are really important. I'm seeing my friends alot and it's really cool, they help me keep my good mood. Also, I am still with my boyfriend but that's where the bad news lies.

See, his parents just decided that he can't ever have me overnight and he can't come here overnight either. But since he lives 4 hours away, it's a quite annoying to go over there and leave the same day. Basically they made sure we wouldn't see eachother as often as we'd like. It is already difficult to have a relationship with someone who lives far away or with someone when his parents don't agree but a combination of both is really hard. I hope we'll make it anyways and I'll try to come see him on the 12th. We'll see what happens from there I guess.

Let me just say that as much as that situation annoys me, I don't want to give up. It seems that alot of times when I thought I was going to be finally happy, life just slapped me in the face. Well this time it did, but I'm taking it like a man and I'm continuing my journey to happyness. I'm not going to let other people ruin what we have and I don't think he is either. Love is stronger than that. I really hope we can work something out and I think if we do stay together, we'll end up stronger in the end.

I just hate how unfair this is. I don't know if it would have been different if he was straight and would have wanted to invite a girl over. Maybe they would have worked something out or maybe they would have reacted the same way. Either way, I don't think getting in the way of two people loving eachother is not something that should be done, even if it's the name of protecting your child. I mean, his parents will be there, I'm not a big threat.

Anyways, we'll try to work something out so we can still see eachother. I miss him alot but I love him too much to let go.

seeya guys.

Notre-Dame-de-Paris

Hello guys!

The start of this post will be about a french musical, which if you haven't seen, I highly recommend. It's incredibly good and is posted all over youtube. If you don't want to get bored with it tho, you can skip that part :P (I change topics after the video)

Me and my friends from drama club have been really obsessed with the musical "Notre-Dame-de-Paris" from 1998. We were all pretty young when it toured but we all went to see it with our parents. We all have different favorite characters which is really funny. All of the characters has one of us who love them including the 2 evil ones, Frolo and Pheobus. My personal favorite is Fleur-de-Lys. She isn't very important but is a really interesting character and I found I had misjudged her in my youth. I hated her when i was young because she wanted Esmeralda to die but I didn't realise the implications of what was the norm at that time and the psychology of her character. It was in 1482 and Esmeralda was said to be a witch, hence Fleur-de-Lys wouldn't trust her at all. But the main problem between the two is Pheobus who was engaged to Fleur-de-Lys and left her for Esmeralda before being stabbed by Frolo. Everyone thought it was Esmeralda who had stabbed him tho. Of course if you're a girl and your fiancee leaves you for someone else and than gets stabbed by that person (that's what she thinks happened) you are going to hate that person. Also, it was the norm to kill people for that sort of crime at that time, therefore she only went with what she knew. So yeah, she is not a terrible person and I like the fact that in the musical, she is a girl who can at least stand up for herself but can still forgive people.

Okay sorry about that I really got carried away there :P Here is a video of her song "La Monture" where she tells Pheobus that she doesn't trust him anymore but will love him if Esmeralda is hanged. There's an english translation so you'll be able to understand even if you can't speak french :)

On another subject, I talk to my boyfriend alot on skype and I love every second of it. I'll try to go see him by the end of January but we'll see what happens. Thinking of him helps me alot in drama club tho, when I have to act like I'm in love, I just think of him and it's easy as can be. I'm really happier than ever and my friends are seeing that and are really happy for me.

My sister on the other hand is worried. I'm pretty sure she thinks it won't work out because he lives too far away. She has always been a bit pessimistic so I don't think too much about it. I think she remembers too well her breakup with her ex who lived far away. But just because it didn't work out for them doesn't mean it's not going to work out for us. I told her that but she still seems skeptic about the whole thing. I'll talk to her more about it at some point.

Anyways, that's all I have to say. You guys have a great day :)

seeya!

It's official!

Well guys, I have a boyfriend!!! :)

I had the best day of my life on sunday, everything was perfect. We went skiing and the conditions were perfect. Also, I brought one of my friends and he went with his best friend and everyone got along really great. But the best thing was, we cicked so much, the more the day progressed, the closer we were. We kissed a couple time (first kiss in public with a guy) and it was just awesome.

He is really cute and his eyes were amazing. I got lost in them when I looked at him. He is also the sweetest guy I ever met and makes me feel so good. I don't want to say too much about him because I want to protect his identity and everything but just take my word on it, he is just perfect :) We also have alot in common especially in how we are in a relationship. We actually agreed on everything so far :P

So yeah, that's pretty much all I had to say. I also wanted to say thanks to all of you guys for the support, it really means alot to me.

Seeya!

BIG news

Hey guys! It's been a while.

I'm sorry I didn't post for a while, I've been busy during christmas time and than I didn't feel like posting and than it completely went out of my mind.

My bad.

But I come bearing huge news.

I met a guy online and we gave eachother our skypes and talked without webcam for like an hour and a half and with webcam (nothing pervy, just talking face to face) for another 5 hours. He is gay (yay), is incredibly nice (double yay), is cute (triple yay) and is actually interested in dating me (quadruple yay). So yeah, I've been thinking about him alot lately. It's like we're dating but we've never actually met in real life yet. It's probably going to be official tho because I get to meet him in person tomorrow.

So yeah HUGE! We also text alot now and we talked on the phone thursday. I'm really excited, he's so freaking awesome! He lives like 4 hours away though so I'm a little down about that but he seems so perfect that I don't really care. He also lives in the US so thank god i have a passport.

It's the first time that I've been interested in someone who felt the same way about me and I am actually falling in love with him. I just can't wait for tomorrow and I promise to keep you guys posted on that.

In other news, I just spent 3 days with my friends who all came over to my parent's place (we were 21) and it was really awesome! I played outside every day and now I'm sore everywhere. The bad thing about that weekend though is Julien, he knows that I have someone and he still tried to make a move on me. It didn't work of course because I don't have feelings for him anymore and I like someone else but it's a really dick move.

Also Sam finally talked to me today about why he wasn't talking to me as much. He thinks I make jokes about him too much. The thing is, I said I would stop joking about him if he did the same and he refused. Than I said that he can't expect people not to make jokes about him if he makes jokes about them and he said that was true. I also told him that I had done ennough for him to prove that I didn't mean anything serious with those jokes which he said was true also. Than he had to leave so the point of the convo is still out there but I dont think it's going to get settled soon because he knows I am right and will try to avoid the subject now.

So that's that, I've had some problems with some of my friends but with most of them everything is perfect. And I am in love so I'm just so happy right now. I don't even care about Sam and Julien, they can both decide to hate me tomorrow and I couldn't care less. I just want to go out with my new guy! :)

Me happy!

Seeya guys! (I'll tell you how it goes tomorrow)